We'll be Alright, Until he Dies
by Adrenalynn
Summary: Yukimi has an awkward dream about his ward. When he wakes up, he finds Yoite doubled over on the floor, crying.


**This is the first fanfiction I've written for Yoite and Yukimi XD Generally I'm a YoiHaru fan but I don't have a problem with YoiKimi and there aren't enough fanfictions for them out there, so I thought I'd give it a go. I'd really appreciate it if you reviewed. I'm afraid Yukimi isn't very in-character, and I'm sorry if it fails :)**

**(Also, the beginning is a dream which is why Yoite acts so disproportionately out-of-character).**

**(Oh, by the way, this is rated M for a reason, and it's a lot more graphic than my other fanfic. If you don't like that, unless you want a very nasty surprise, run away now and hide behind the sofa with your ears covered).**

_Yoite drags me towards the bed by the front of my shirt; his other hand is stationed at my hip and there's a mischievous glint in his lust-darkened eyes that makes my skin crawl with anticipation. I've never done this with another guy before and I figured I'd be nervous, but no; there's no room for that inside my head just now. My only thoughts are Yoite, and the liquid heat churning in my stomach and between my legs, and Yoite, and oh, Gods, Yoite…_

_ I don't really know when he stopped pulling and I started pushing; I don't care, I just want to get him naked. The two of us crash onto the bed in a frenzy of limbs, lips and teeth; all I can hear is the raggedness of our breathing and all I can see is flashes of skin and colour between rapid intervals of darkness. Yoite's legs are splayed either side of mine, shaking a little, and I can tell he's every bit as eager as I am to get to the main course. But… this is Yoite, and it'll probably never happen again, so… I want to enjoy this._

_ Gently, I nip at his neck, loving the shiver I receive for my trouble, before allowing my hands to trail lower, to the button of his skinny, sun-bleached jeans. I'm frantic to get to him to the point where my hands can barely obey me._

_ Beneath me, I can feel Yoite squirming as he whimpers breathlessly, "Mmn… no foreplay?"_

_ I've worked the button and fly free; roughly, I pull his jeans down to his ankles, then I sit over him, occasionally kissing some exposed skin, or pressing at the bulge in his underwear with the heel of my hand. The sight below me is truly beautiful, almost too beautiful for words._

_ Yoite's lying before me with his head tipped back – giving me a lovely view of his succulently exposed neck, scar forgotten between us – and I can feel those lust-clouded eyes watching me, amused, wondering what I'll do next to torment his willing body which is spread so sexily before me. His back is arched, arms gleaning with sweat, and his torso is just barely covered by an out-of-character skintight black top. His mouth is slightly open, lips swollen and wet, and just looking at them is enough to make me picture all the talented, wonderfully dirty acts he could use them to perform. He is just begging to be taken, and I'm not going to disappoint._

_ I remove his jeans properly first, then throw them off the bed somewhere out of our way before proceeding to spread his creamy thighs as far as they'll go and groping him roughly through his underwear. His legs twitch violently as I do this, and, still trapped in my jeans, my erection begins to throb as I listen to him speak._

_ "A-ah… you're good at this…" he moans, shutting his eyes in bliss, then he opens them again; blue and shining and staring at me as he whispers seductively, "I'd love it if you took your shirt off, though."_

_ I smile cruelly at him, relishing the power that comes with being a seme to this sinful little angel, then shake no, smile widening at the adamant disappointment in his eyes. Then I opt for a new tactic, and press him down into the bed sheets, carefully easing his shirt up._

_ Elegant hands dart out to stop me instantaneously. "That's not fair… you aren't planning on taking me fully-dressed, are you?"_

_ I barely register his words – just the petulant, childlike tone – and automatically, a predatory growl escapes my throat. His shirt is torn off and, before I can stop myself, I've taken the belt from round my waist and used it to tightly secure his skinny wrists together._

_ Looking adorably puzzled, he tests his new bonds. "So what are these for, then, darling? Are you worried I'm going to try and dominate?"_

_ "No, it just makes torturing you easier," I retort boldly, taking his wrists and pinning them down above his head whilst using the other hand to trace meaningless patterns into his porcelain skin._

_ At this, he smiles. "I didn't see you as the type to use BDSM. At least, this should be interesting."_

_ BDSM. It takes me only an instant to realise that this is what I'm doing to him, and when I do, I'm so stunned by my own boldness I let my hand slip from his wrists, momentarily setting him free. Of course, he takes full advantage of this by sitting up and serenely stroking my chest through my shirt. Quietly, he begins to hum._

_ Absently, I'm aware of my hands working to undo the belt I've trapped him in; mostly though, I'm distracted by the gentle way his fingers massage me through my shirt's thin material. Once I've freed him, of course, he smiles at me sweetly – confidence intact – though I can tell he's relieved I let him go. I don't protest as he leans closer to me, guiding my shirt over my head. In fact, I've kind of been put into a trance at his innocent forgivingness. It's only when he kisses me that I'm brought back into the present. _

_ Locking my arms tight around him – wantonly, possessively – and bringing our chests together, I begin to explore his mouth with my tongue; it's warm and inviting enough for me to look past the slight coppery flavour of blood that lingers there. Enjoying myself, I make sure his heated body is pressed firmly to mine and then lose my hands in the dark, glittering locks of his hair. Yoite doesn't seem to have a comment on this, for once, and instead lets me do what I like, moaning softly as the pressure of our lips changes and stroking my back fondly with his graceful hands. When the embrace is over, both of us are breathing hard and a dark flush graces his cheeks and fans over his body._

_ I smile, intoxicated by desire, and Yoite smiles back like he can see how I'm picturing him, which is rather erotic to say the least._

_ It's an act of pure lust as I push him down onto his back on the sheets, trailing kisses over his perfect flat stomach and up along his ribs as I do. An act Yoite likes, if the breathy moans escaping his lips are anything to go by. _

_ My trousers feel achingly tight around my arousal and I want to take them off, but I'm too distracted by Yoite's divine form to get on and do it. Silently, I sit back to admire his body, splayed out ready before me; lily-white skin blushing in places, chest heaving, rosy pink nipples erect and waiting to be touched. Surely no man should be allowed to look so erotic and beautiful at the same time?_

_ Subconsciously slipping out of my jeans, I allow my hungry eyes to travel lower, to the tight, scant black boxers that just barely cover him up. My eyes widen as I detect his erection, straining against the feminine underwear determinedly. I'm quite surprised by his choice in undergarments actually; considering how the rest of his clothes are so bulky and quite emo too, leaving everything to the imagination but not in a boring way. I can't get them off him fast enough._

_ Once he's fully exposed, I'm hit with the reality of what's going on. We're about to have sex. Full, proper sex, with kissing and touching and moaning and passion, here on the bed, for what's probably the first time in his life. Why is neither of us nervous?_

_ "What's the matter, honey?" he asks me with an alluring smile; "You aren't having second thoughts about me, are you?"_

_ "N-no!" I say quickly, desperately. "No, I just…" Mentally, I scan my mind for anything I know about gay sex that I can use to my defence. "I… um… don't have any lubricant."_

_ Yoite smiles apologetically and sits up to open his bedside drawer. "Sorry, I forgot about that." He delves around for a moment before tossing a smallish tube and a little silver packet in my direction; upon studying the packet I realise it contains a single condom, presumably in case of STIs. I'm more than a little surprised that Yoite owns such things._

_ "You won't be needing that just yet," Yoite smirks, gesturing to the packet. "You need to prepare me first."_

_ "Okay," I say, gritting my teeth and forcing a smile. It's so much easier to lose myself when we aren't talking, but it's reassuring to know that at least one of us knows what to do. I figured we might use Yoite's female entrance for sex, but I can see now that it's very under-developed and I probably wouldn't fit. Which means we have to do things the other way._

_ Hands shaking in anticipation, I unscrew the tube and pour a generous amount of the lubricant over my fingers; Yoite's quite used to pain so he could probably manage with less, but I don't want to be selfish about it. When I look up, I realise he's propped himself up into a relaxed half-sitting position against the pillows, and he's got his legs spread widely and invitingly, waiting for me to start. It takes all my willpower not to just forget the lube and screw him right there._

_ I crawl over to where he lies, spreading the lube over my fingers as I do so, then I sit between his legs, staring right into those lusty blue eyes the whole time. He looks eager, and I'm having difficulty restraining myself from ravishing him, so quickly but gently, I begin to probe at his entrance with my dripping fingers. At this, Yoite's breath hitches slightly and he shuts his eyes. "Mm… Yukimi, don't tease me…"_

_ His body accepts one finger easily, followed by a second; I pause here for a moment to scissor them a little before adding a third. For a moment, Yoite grimaces in pain, but as I gently begin to crook the fingers inside of him, this face is quickly replaced by one of only pleasure._

_ "A-ah…" he moans, legs shaking as I begin to resume my thrusting pace, "Yukimi… feels so good, Yu… YUKIMI… ah… THERE!"_

_ He tips his head back and cries out, alerting me that I've found his sweet spot. Excited, my free hand stations itself at his hip, angling him slightly as I continue to thrust, and it doesn't take long for me to find the spot again. This time, Yoite tightens around the fingers as he releases another cry of pleasure._

_ "Aaahn! Mmmh, Yukimi…"_

_ Turned on largely by the sounds I'm eliciting from him, I dip my head and begin to suck roughly on one of his nipples; at this, his breath quickens and his hips jerk and the two combined pleasures force another cry from him—a cry of my name. All of a sudden I feel hands raking through my hair, nails lightly scraping the skin of my back; loving the way it feels, I begin to thrust my fingers harder. I move on to abuse the other nipple, but instead of giving the other a chance to recover, I worry it with my free hand, squeezing the tender but while it's still sensitive. The effect of all this on Yoite is instantaneous._

_ His whole body shivers, chest heaving, back arched, and his head flies back, narrowly missing the wall as a fresh chorus of pleasure emanates from his core. "Y-YUKIMI! Aa… oh, God, you're… a-AH… AH!...AHH!..."_

_ In the end he gives up on trying to talk, simply resorting to yelping in bliss whenever I curl my fingers unexpectedly against his prostate, gasping whenever I scrape at his hot skin with my teeth, moaning heatedly as I torment his beautiful body with pleasure. Without warning, I jab at his sweet spot, and the scream rips from his throat before I can even pull back. Breathless, he begins to speak, and I unlatch from his chest and slow down the thrusts so he can finish without crying out._

_ "Mm… s-stop teasing me, Yukimi… I'm ready…"_

_ Excitement sweeps through me like fireworks. He's ready. He wants me inside him. A thousand intensely passionate scenes flash through my mind, and in spite of myself, I grin in anticipation, which must make my face look really perverted. Apparently, this only turns Yoite on more, because just like that he's picked up the condom I left lying on the sheets and is slipping the offending material of my pants from my hips, freeing my length. For a moment, he simply sits there – legs spread, condom in hand – and stares shamelessly at my crotch; instinctively, I blush, and I want to hide but I've been looking at Yoite for a whole now so I have no right._

_ My arousal is flushed and slightly bigger than I recognise – about seven inches, but I'm hardly about to measure it – and the tip is happily oozing with precum. I glance back up to Yoite; he's smiling and his eyes are devious. For a moment, I wonder what he's thinking, and then his hand is easing over my flesh, rolling the condom onto me. It feels good, really good. Eagerly, I wonder how much better the feel of his slick inner walls contracting around me will be, and I'm spurred on to coat myself in lube._

_ I glance up at the Kira-user whose legs I'm perched between; he looks as excited as I feel. Both of us know what happens next. Languidly, casually, Yoite leans back and tips his head, laying himself open to me._

_ "I'm waiting, honey…" he murmurs gently; his tone mirrors the one he uses when he's talking to the children at the local park, only this time his tone is laced with pure, unhidden lust. "Hey, come on, don't keep me like this, Yukimi…"_

_ Him seductively purring my name like that is just about all I can take; quickly but carefully, I line my member up with his entrance. For a moment, I hesitate, wondering if I've missed some vital part of Yoite's preparation or if this is really it. I press my lips to his, feeling both needy and powerful, and then…_

"Y-Yoi-AAAH!"

My eyes snap open; was it me that screamed just now? It sounded like me… it was loud. Breathing hard, sticky with sweat, I roll over onto one side to glance at the clock—8.30am. _Shit, I was hoping to wake up earlier to get a head-start on that article…_

That's when I feel it. The wetness, the warmth between my legs, seeping into my boxers and making me feel incredibly dirty. Come. Now why would I…?

Oh.

_Oh._

I've never had such an erotic dream about Yoite before, even though I've known deep down for a while now that I'm attracted to him. All the previous stars of these dreams have been big-breasted, slutty women around my age, with glossy red lips and peroxide-attacked hair, swollen hips and radiant skin. Unrealistic, trashy. That's one thing that – although I'm not terribly proud of it – I know for certain.

But what I also know is that none of those women, no matter how stunning or erotic or provocative, have ever made me come that hard.

Sighing at myself, I get up and head for the shower.

Over the ten minutes I spend standing impatiently under the warm faucet, I manage to convince myself that I should just forget the dream ever happened. I'm not interested in Yoite like that, he's my ward, for God's sake. He's young. He's… never going to have a future with me.

_Never going to have a future at all, but you don't want to think about that, do you? Because you love him—_

No. No, definitely not. I accepted that Yoite was going to die the day we met, and ever since then the pair of us have been distanced; a silent agreement not to get too close in case it happened without warning. Because it would happen without warning.

_It could happen any day now…_

Forget it. Forget the dream. It was just a stupid, erotic dream that came from some weird place in the back of my head, and it's not worth causing a fuss over. Once I'm done with my shower, I'm going to get dressed in my usual white shirt and jeans and I'm going to go out into the kitchen and make breakfast, and I'm going to say good morning to Yoite and I won't get an answer because I never do. That's normal. That's something I can handle.

_Oh Yukimi, you know you've totally just jinxed that, right?_

Dressed and feeling clean, I pause for a second before I open my bedroom door, praying silently that this morning will be as uneventful as possible and I can just lie low. The door sticks, I push at it. It opens with a pop. And that's when I see him.

On his knees, curled in on himself, shivering and coughing violently, hand over his mouth like despite his pain he's still trying to be discreet. Thin frame convulsing, frighteningly breakable; every cough making me wince more than the last. Silent tears spilling from eyes screwed shut, tracing over that perfect porcelain skin.

Yoite.

On any other morning, I would go and make breakfast; give him a worried glance, but generally try my hardest to pretend he isn't there, that I can't hear those quiet gasps of pain between coughs. Ignore him.

Of course, however badly I hoped it would be, this isn't any other morning.

I'm on my knees at Yoite's side in a heartbeat, one hand gently resting between his shoulderblades, the other flattened uselessly against my chest. Yoite freezes up on the contact, then shudders, before managing to look up at me with those broken blue eyes. A light blush graces his cheeks from the coughing, and without asking him first, my hands are against them, wiping the tears away.

Yoite tries to spring back – "Don't—" – but he's deterred by another coughing fit and doubles over, still very close to me. Close enough to hug. Should I hug him?

_You want to. Why not? It's not like you'll be crying at his funeral, whenever that happens…_

I curse myself under my breath for being such a weak stupid bastard, then take Yoite by the shoulders, pulling him up to look me in the eyes. There's blood at the corner of his mouth and his lips are tinted red with the stuff. His eyes are pleading with me, begging me to let him go.

This is the closest I've ever come to breaking our silent agreement; I've gone for a while now knowing I'm attracted to him, though I've never let it become more for fear that I won't be ready to let him go. It's easier to lose something you never really wanted in the first place, never needed, never counted on. But… now that I think about it, I never really held him at length to start with.

This whole time, I thought I was doing a good job at not becoming attached to him.

And I've been taking the fact that I'm comforted by his presence completely for granted.

What a fool I am.

"Yukimi..." my ward is shaking badly. Without checking with my brain first, my arms encircle him and pull him to my chest. Yoite struggles at first, then gives up. "Yukimi."

"Uhh, yeah?" I ask him; I know I sound awkward and I feel it too.

"I'm cold…"

_In more ways than one, right?_

I hug him closer. "I'll keep you warm."

"Yukimi?"

"What?"

"Thank you."

"…What for?"

Yoite doesn't respond to begin with. I sigh, trying to mask my impatience with sympathy, and then the boy sits up; it's a little abrupt and, with my arms wrapped around his back, I feel myself get pulled towards him.

This caught Yoite off-guard; he didn't have time to move away. I thought. My balance off, I fall forward a little more, only to be stopped by Yoite's hands at my chest, steadying me before leaning forwards himself.

For a moment, we've locked eyes, then we fall against each other and lock lips. I'm not sure who it was that kissed who; all I know is that I wasn't expecting it, and despite the damage it's doing to our agreement, I can't make myself pull away.

His lips are soft and velvety, mouth warm and pliant against mine; the way he kisses is gentle, much gentler than the few breathless collisions of lips we shared in my dream. For a moment, all I can do is sit there and bask in his kiss while he traces circles in my shoulders with his thumbs. And then I'm conscious of kissing him back; slowly at first, pulling him closer to me and sighing at the frailty of his waist, letting my tongue dart out to brush against his as I grow in confidence.

Awkwardly, we break apart.

"I'm sorry—" Yoite starts, but I cut him off.

"It's my fault. All mine. Don't say it."

Yoite stares at me for a second, somewhere between gratitude and disbelief, before lowering his head and mumbling, "Thank you…"

So timid. I'm not sure I'm used to this. "It's alright, Yoite." My arms are still around him; I pull him back towards me and he collapses against my chest. "It's alright… we'll be alright."

_Until he dies._

A silent tear slips down my cheek.

_Until he dies._

Yoite's quivering.

_Until he dies._

I shut my eyes. We'll be alright.

_Until he dies._

No… forever.


End file.
